I’m seriously thinking of going into stand-up. How to describe the utter joy of being able to get up on stage and label as numpties and fuckwits those dear creatures who thought it a good idea to write to EdFringe in a sad and vain attempt to get my show banned?
Oh dear! Toys angrily projected from prams..!
Yes, I’m gloating. Too fucking right I am!
I won’t go into the details of these no-lives; these playground social media bullies. There’s plenty of information out there if you search…
Yesterday I had two gigs asides my show : the first a short spot at the Freestival press launch and then an hour on stage at Sin nightclub on Cowgate. I’ve waited my whole life to perform in Sin.
A friend asked if playing in Sin meant there hadn’t been any ceremony binding me to my instrument. I replied that I’m thinking of divorcing because of a nasty rattle on my G string. Why always the G, I ask?
At Sin I sang, strummed and spoke. I told the audience about my surprise at being the only artist at #EdFringe to be using the hashtags #FreePalestine and #VoteCorbyn.
Cheers and applause.
I also told the audience that a group of people have been desperately hounding me, trying to get me sacked from jobs, trying to get my shows banned; that this group – many of whom seem to be associated with “Britain’s vilest troll”, Robert Ambridge aka Old Holborn – were all, ironically, waving “Je suis Charlie” banners last January… Fuckwits.
Ambridge, like so many of his associates, is a liar and a hypocrite; a pretend Libertarian guru of freedom of expression who can dish it out but.. etc., etc. Apparently, Ambridge is also best pals with some top notch Essex plod.
Of course, Ambridge and his pack of social media dogs aren’t likely to turn up to any of my gigs, especially not in Scotland. Their oh-so-important, illustrious, establishment-arse-licking opinions are worthy only of the crazed meanderings of Twitter and soon the dustbins of history.
How does it feel to stand on stage, explain the above in just a few words ending with a sharply delivered “Fuckwits!”? Pretty damn good. And how does it feel when the audience reacts with cheers and laughter?
You see, it’s all very well for keyboard warriors to mock and laugh at others from behind the safe shelter of their handheld or other devices. And if by their tone and puerile level of debate they wish to portray themselves quite clearly as nasty idiots, then so be it. However, laughing alone at a computer screen could never compare with real-life, shared laughter. Hopefully, there’ll be more to come tonight.
Music and opinion from Alison Chabloz tonight, Saturday August 14, 7.45pm at Fingers Piano Bar, Frederick Street and then at 1am in Sin, Cowgate.